Re: Booked by Smarkside
Lähetetty: 04 Joulu 2017, 15:57
WRESTLING OBSERVER RADIO
WRESTLING OBSERVER STAR RATINGS
Tag Team Championship: *** ¼
Bella/James: **
Intercontinental Championship: * ¾
Amore/Nese: ** ¼
Strowman/Savage: **
Gauntlet: ** ¾
Lethal Lockdown: *** ½
Strowman/Runnels: *
Styles/McMahon: ***
Bryan Alvarez: ”How’s it going everybody! We are some 30 minutes removed from the final bell of Polite Rules, so let’s talk about that. This is of course Wrestling Observer Radio with Bryan Alvarez and Dave Meltzer. Dave?”
Dave Meltzer: “Yeah?”
Alvarez: “There was some… turbulence leading up to the show, can you walk us through that?”
Meltzer: “Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah, so, uhhhhhh, Vince got a hold of the final script and just, totally, freaked out, like, big time. So everything gets scrambled around and, you know, Pete Cheetah is in trouble. Vince had threatened to fire everyone if this goes south, and, uh, maybe he will…”
Alvarez: “So, what you’re saying is… for the last six months… Vince HAS NOT SEEN THE FINAL SCRIPT BEFORE GOING ON AIR! HOW?”
Meltzer: “I mean, I wouldn’t go, uh, that far. He’s, he surely has known… about the big picture at the least. And even this show, Cheetah and another writer, uhhhh, what’s his name, Max something… I’ll look the name up later, but, they, they, they… they made some last minute changes, like, literally last minute.”
Alvarez: “Why?”
Meltzer: “Presumably to try to save their jobs!”
Alvarez: “To be honest, no one would have noticed the changes if you hadn’t said anything, because woah boy, this was another Raw brand pay-per-view, I’ll tell you that much.”
Meltzer: “I mean, there was some good parts, but the last minute rewrites probably…”
Alvarez: “Shit is just shit, Dave. It doesn’t get any less smelly by analyzing. We were off to a great start in this POLITE Rules show with a last minute EXTREME Rules match… WITH A MASTURBATING MICK FOLEY!”
Meltzer: “He wasn’t really-“
Alvarez: “That’s what it looked like on TV! Four teams that are absolute GEEKS! Foley trying to sexually assault Emma! Garbage brawling!”
Meltzer: “I mean, it was decent. Everyone is at least a decent wrestler, it’s just the gimmicks are, uhhh, really short term. Graves took a big bump to finish and-“
Alvarez: “HE’S NOT CLEARED TO WRESTLE! PACMAN GRAVES HERE! Thankfully they took the titles off him and Axel, but it’s clear Vince couldn’t give two shits about the tag division. Cesaro and Emma were just a thrown together duo with no goal, no story, no cohesion, no NOTHING! And to top it all off, we are going to get MORE inter-gender violence!”
Meltzer: *cough*
Alvarez: “And then, because this shit wasn’t overbooked to hell and back, we get an IMPROMTU WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU REMOVE THE PREVIOUS WOMEN’S MATCH IF YOU WERE GOING TO DO THIS?”
Meltzer: “Yeah, I mean, Mickie James returning was a good move, but all the momentum was gone in five minutes…”
Alvarez: “TV match with a TV ending, hooray, let’s move on.”
Meltzer: “So-“
Alvarez: “WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”
Meltzer: “Uh-“
Alvarez: “IT’S 2017, DAVE! TWO. THOUSAND. AND. SEVEN. TEEN. AND TRIPLE H STILL HAS TO PUT HIS NOSE IN IMPORTANT ANGLES!”
Meltzer: “The Orton-“
Alvarez: “EXACTLY! THEY ALREADY ADDED ORTON FOR NO REASON! AND DON’T GIVE ME THAT “LET’S JUST SEE WHERE THIS GOES” -CRAP! NO ONE CARES ABOUT HAITCH’S CRUSADE AGAINST CHAOS! HE’S BEEN PART F IT FOR THE WHOLE SIX FUCKING MONTHS!”
Meltzer: “The match itself was fine, I guess, but-“
Alvarez: “HAWKINS AND RHYNO? WHO THE- WHO THE FUCK BOOKS THIS SHIT? BREEZE IS BURIED, NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE ORTON ANGLE, CENA’S PROBABLY FUCKING OFF TO HOLLYWOOD AND TRIPLE FUCKING H IS CHAMPION! FUCK THIS COMPANY!”
Meltzer: “Bryan.”
Alvarez: “Sorry, Dave, I got a little carried away there… what did you think?”
Meltzer: “It was a match.”
Alvarez: “…”
Meltzer: “…”
Alvarez: “Anything else?”
Meltzer: “I mean, it is what it is.”
Alvarez: “Fine… then the first cruiserweight match. It was there, I guess.”
Meltzer: “Yeah, the angle was there, the wrestling was decent, but this, uhhh, this got really cut for time. And the Tozawa angle, that might have been Cheetah trying to “fix” the show, but, you know, nothings really certain here.”
Alvarez: “Burials: The Night continued next with Black Savage. Did he piss in Vince’s cereal or something?”
Meltzer: “Uhh, as far as I know, no. But-”
Alvarez: “I guess they are TRYING to bring back some legitimacy to Strowman, but too little, too late.”
Meltzer: “I mean, yeah. He’s everything Vince wants in a top level heel. Big, strong, homegrown… and Cobb, he’s a bit too small and, and, and… he’s still an Olympian, but Vince…”
Alvarez: “Just another way to ruin Randy Savage’s legacy.”
Meltzer: “As for Strowman, they are blowing the, uhh, Jax angle at the next big show…”
Alvarez: “THE GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! Another great name change by the genius writing team.”
Meltzer: “…Actually the name change was planned by last October.”
Alvarez: “Really? Oh well, I guess bad PPV names are transmitted in a secret memo from writing staff to the next.”
Meltzer: "After the, uhhh, Balls deathmatch, Strowman is probably going against… maybe Rolling or Styles, at least, that’s what I’ve heard. At least, that was the plan before the show. Now…”
Alvarez: “What?”
Meltzer: “Ummmm, there was a scuffle. Backstage. After the, the match Strowman and Cobb had brief fight… and, uh, you can probably guess who won.”
Alvarez: “Oh no.”
Meltzer: “The, the fight, as of what I’ve heard, it was over nothing major. Just, both guys were pretty angry with how their match played out. It was a real, a real chance to show, umm, their skills and, then, yeah, everything got shuffled around. Emotions running high, few words were exchanged; no one knows what exactly, but yeah. Strowman threw the first punch, Cobb took him down in seconds, and yeah, 30 seconds later it was all over. Crew and other wrestlers pulled them apart and that was it.”
Alvarez: “I guess that’s why Strowman looked so pissed off with Runnels.”
Meltzer: “Yeah, I mean, Vince loves when his guys show their toughness… and his big guy just got shown up by a smaller guy…”
Alvarez: “Who is an ACTUAL OLYMPIC WRESTLER!”
Meltzer: “Viiiiiiince probably doesn’t know that. Anyway, Strowman and Cobb are pros, they’re probably going to patch it up soon, but, you know, Vince…”
Alvarez: “Juuuuuuuuuuust great. Moving on to more cruiserweight action, or “action”, we had a match of highs and lows. After the first few sequences with Gallagher, Kendrick and Alexander, I had a flicker of hope. A cruiserweight match with good wrestling and a clean finish? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Meltzer: “Uh, yeah, they definitely tried, even too much. It’s just, you can’t just, you know, throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.”
Alvarez: “Oh I’ll tell you what stuck. HO HO LUN! ARE YOU SERIOUS!”
Meltzer: “I mean, there’s the market in China…”
Alvarez: “HE’S FROM HONG KONG!”
Meltzer: “But I doubt Vince really cares, his eyes are on the, the green guy from NXT, Bing. I mean, even greener than Lun is.”
Alvarez: “Urgh, the bane of my existence has arrived in WWE.”
Meltzer: “Dixie Carter already got the War-“
Alvarez: “I meant LETHAL LOCKDOWN! My god, remember the good War Games matches? Remember when Ring of Honor had a killer Cage of Death? This was a mess. A MIDCARDER MESS!”
Meltzer: “Yeah, that really was the biggest, uh, issue, I guess, with this. Steiner was big back in the day, but Storm, Dallas, Gun and Gallows and Ryder aren’t what you would call, you know, household names. Vince still likes Lashley, and… Owens is still, you know, not fired.”
Alvarez: “Absolute and utter horseshit. The Doctor gimmick is beyond awful, Bo as Jarrett was funny for a split second, but then it descended into the black hole of suck that is Jeff Jarrett, the mystery partner for team WWE was ZACK RYDER-“
Meltzer: “To be fair, he was hot in-“
Alvarez: “No, just no. The one saving grace was James Storm tumbling off the cage blackout drunk. Didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Then TNA won and we are looking forward to the first WWE Impact tomorrow night! What a legal shitstorm that will be.”
Meltzer: “I mean, Dixie would probably be really happy, but she’s not there anymore, so, uhh, we’ll know more tomorrow.”
Alvarez: “Semi-main spot goes to… DUSTIN RUNNELS AND THE WORST PROMOTIONAL TACTIC OF THE YEAR TOUR!”
Meltzer: “Yeah, that’s pretty much a lock.”
Alvarez: “This was whatever, Strowman came out, quick squash and a beatdown. Probably the wisest decision of the night, which isn’t saying much.”
Meltzer: *coughs*
Alvarez: “I have a vague memory of a rumor from a couple of weeks back, Dave do you remember this? It said something along the lines of “Styles vs Rollins will be Raw’s answer to Reigns/Neville.” What an absolute joke that was.”
Meltzer: “…”
Alvarez: “Dave?”
Meltzer: “Oh, nothing, I thought you were about to, you know, vent about Trip-“
Alvarez: “FUCK THAT POTATO-NOSED MOTHERFUCKER! THE BIGGEST MATCH YOU HAVE? INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE WASN’T ENOUGH? WHY? WHY DID THEY FUCK STYLES OVER? AGAIN?”
Meltzer: “I mean, they have to know, what we know, what everyone knows. Styles is the best guy they have. It’s just, you know, the mentality.”
Alvarez: “Vince’s mentality.”
Meltzer: “Well, I, uhhh, you could say that. They, they got cut for time and-“
Alvarez: “Cut for time? What time? As far as I could see, this match wasn’t about Styles or Rollins. This was about McMahon drama, once fucking again.”
Meltzer: “Yeah, it was definitely a disappointment.”
Alvarez: “Overall, another shitty PPV by a shitty company with shitty wrestling, shitty angles and shitty persons in charge. Just, fuck, you could put any GEEK from the internet in there and they’d do better than this group of mental patients!”
Meltzer: “It had its moments, but yeah. Dominion was a killer show, though.”
Alvarez: “We’ll get to it Dave, let me just take a break…”
WRESTLING OBSERVER STAR RATINGS
Tag Team Championship: *** ¼
Bella/James: **
Intercontinental Championship: * ¾
Amore/Nese: ** ¼
Strowman/Savage: **
Gauntlet: ** ¾
Lethal Lockdown: *** ½
Strowman/Runnels: *
Styles/McMahon: ***



















































































